Showing posts with label sisters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sisters. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

A Tale of Two Sisters, One a Tad Tremulous

Dave muffled a dry hack of a cough in the crook of his arm when he and I met up with my sister, Rita, and her friend, Susie, at the Hilton Garden Hotel.  I doubt the girls noticed that he turned his face away as he gave them each a hug and, as for his pallor, well; he always looks gray in the winter.  Plus, Rita’s wound was far more dramatic than a cough.

Since we were kids, Rita’s been prone to accidents, and more importantly, famous for her bravery in their wake.  When she was two, she cut her little finger.  Sadly, I have to admit it was largely my fault.  Well, maybe all my fault.  We’d been making a pyramid out of empty Coke bottles on the kitchen floor, and she’d inched her finger into the neck of one of the green glass bottles where it stuck. 

“Break it,” I suggested.  At age three and a half, this made sense. 

She whacked the bottle on the floor, freed her finger, but bloodily, and spent the next few hours with Dr. Lamp.  Mom returned with tales of Rita’s courage, and how she peacefully hummed a tune while the doctor stitched her up.

That summer in Cape Cod, Rita and I joined a gang of kids in clambering up the remnants of an old wooden jetty and racing to its end to jump into the sand. Somehow, my sister slipped, and thirty-two splinters lodged in the bottoms of her feet.  A Coppertone-scented crowd gathered to watch as the lifeguard performed the extractions, announcing each, like a countdown, as Rita hummed a song. 

On another occasion, we were watching television.  Rita was in my way, so I gave her a push.  Just a little one.  But enough to send her tumbling into the TV, splitting her lip, and requiring another trip to the infamous Dr. Lamp.  Again, Mom came home, agog at my sister’s courage.

Two weeks ago, although weather forecasters cautioned us about black ice, my sister ran errands. As she stopped at a friend’s house to pick up a donation for the local hospital, she slipped on an ice patch…and broke her elbow.  I swear I had nothing to do with it.  I was in Connecticut, nowhere nearby.  She had surgery the next day, and had she not been under anesthesia, no doubt, she would have hummed. 

By the time Dave and I saw her in New York, only a thin sheath of fabric covered and protected her scar, so of course – we are sisters after all - we played show and tell, and eww: 30 staples, a metal track of cruel teeth, zipped the bruised and swollen skin together.  I witnessed no wincing, nor heard a single complaint; she was cheerful and jolly, excited to watch her boy play basketball.

For, on that Friday night, my nephew, Jared, was playing for the University of Rochester against NYU.   Jared is blond, handsome, athletic, and 6’7”, and despite dependable losses for his team whenever Dave and I attend his games, we were there to cheer him on.  Given our record – and our effect on his - he might not have been so excited about that.

The NYU gym was steamy, steamy enough to warrant a full peel of coats, gloves, scarves, and turtlenecks; I was down to jeans and the University of Rochester tee shirt Jared gave me for Christmas.  I wished I’d worn some snappy boots like every other woman in that gym, but no, in my aversion to cold, I’d chosen sensible footwear: my cozy, but ugly – one might say butt-ugly - brown hiking boots.  Plus, I noticed I was the only woman in that gym, except perhaps for a few aged grandmothers, who had not tucked her pants fashionably into knee-high boots.  Sigh.

I rarely feel envious of youth.  In a college setting, however, the contrast between the parade of sprightly hair-tossers with flawless skin and this wan 61–year old was brutally apparent.  There was so much energetic bouncing going on!  Balls on the court, and boobs under tight shirts as cheerleaders leapt to the top of a pyramid of friends, and pert young ones bounded lightly up the bleachers.  With my creaky knees and clunky shoes, every descent from my seat was an awkward, halting affair.

The game was terrifyingly close.  Rochester established a ten-point lead, but fell behind after half-time.  Our throats grew hoarse as we cheered for our boy and roared at the refs, who were intent on calling fouls on Jared while ignoring hideous abuses by NYU, or so it seemed to my nephew’s fan club.  Two points ahead, two behind.  Up again – Yay!  Down again, groan!  Jockeying, sprinting, all kinds of great passing, but why don’t they try for the basket more?  Argh!  And finally, whoo-HOO!  Rochester won!  62-60, with eight points by Jared.  Briefly, we met him in the field house foyer, and gave him triumphant hugs before he headed out to the bus with his teammates.

The next morning, after a hasty good-bye to Rita and Susie and a fitful night with a hacking cough, Dave was sick, his cold in full attack.  As he lay in bed, his face pale and sagging, his body heavy and limp, my mind flashed images of two empty seats at that night’s performance of “Jersey Boys” and the daunting prospect of our move – within hours – to a different hotel. 

Yes, this was a weekend of plentiful entertainments, or that had been the plan.  Last spring at a silent auction, we won tickets to Jersey Boys and a night at the Hotel Lucerne; for months, this date had been marked with capital letters and stars on my calendar.  I am a capable person, but of the Lea-and-Dave team, Dave is the navigator when we hit tricky waters, and New York City, even at its best, represents white water rapids to me.   As I listened to Dave’s snorflings and barks, I wondered, as I am wont to do in times of challenge, “What would a grown-up do?”

Obviously, the man needed medicine, and he said he might be able to nibble an orange and a plain bagel as well.  “Don’t worry, honey!” I said gamely, as I shrugged on my heavy coat, scarf, ear-warmers, and gloves, giving every appearance of a person comfortable with the idea of venturing out, alone, into the streets of the city. “I’ll be back shortly!”  I said as I blew him a kiss and closed the door of our room behind me.  

Okay.  Here I go.  Out on my own in New York. 

I took the elevator down to the lobby and the bright-eyed receptionist at the front desk.  We exchanged good-mornings, and I told her of Dave’s cold and asked if there was a CVS nearby.

“Let me check,” she said, tapping on her keyboard.  “Yes.  One mile away.  Will you walk or take the subway?” 

The subway!  As if.  “I’ll walk,” I said. 

“It’s frigid outside,” the girl said kindly.  “What do you need?  If it’s over-the-counter, there’s a pharmacy on the next block.”  And she told me about a convenient good bagel place too.  Easy!  What a revelation.  Ask for help…and people will help.

I can do this!

Buoyed by kindness happily given and the proximity of answers to Dave’s discomfort, I breezed through the automatic doors into …sunshine!  And brisk, fresh, air!  Into bustle, and life, and a sense of purpose! I turned to my right and spotted the huge green pharmacy sign, just as the receptionist had described.  Heart uplifted, I marched, humming - almost as brave as my little sister - toward that beacon.

                *                                  *                                  *

To reach the pharmacy, I had to cross a small park ringed with wrought iron railings and snow-dusted evergreen shrubs.  Oddly, some New Yorkers had thought this the ideal spot to dump their garbage, leaving a prominent pile of stuffed black plastic bags smack in the midst of a circle of benches. 

Just as I was forming nasty judgments, I realized the bags were bronze.  This was not garbage, but sculpture!  An intriguing contestant in the “What is art?” debate.

My friend Carey tells of attending an avant-garde art show, and her bemused wanderings from installation to installation, marveling at the…hm... shall we say obscure nature of some of the presentations.  Was she too shallow, she wondered, to properly appreciate the masterpiece that was a string stretched from floor to wall, affixed with a thumbtack?  Were others similarly dumbfounded or was it her failing alone?  Finally, a piece caught her eye.  Ah.  Perhaps in this – slatted metal emitting a rush of air – she could understand the message.  Intake and out-take.  Coming and going.  The very breath of life!  She was close to turning to another visitor to expound on her interpretation when she realized the piece was not art, but a heating vent.  A standard issue heating vent.  Not "an Installation," but installed, yes, to keep the building warm.  

I grinned in recalling Carey’s story, and as I neared the bronze, realized the piece before me was not what I’d thought either.  Often art is an unfolding tale, imparting different meanings to different people.  In this, I imagine, I’d reacted as the artist had intended, my perception shifting from garbage, to judgment, to sculpture, to… the unexpected.  I laughed aloud, for the “bags” were mounded, tied, and welded to form a giant teddy bear.  While the word “whimsical” annoys me, this bear was just that, in the best of ways.  And I beamed, for yet again, New York had surprised me, forcing that shift in perception, from daunting and distasteful to friendly and delightful. 



Susie, Lea, Jared, and Rita at NYU

  








Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Waiting with My Sisters for My Mom

I am grateful I have two sisters to wait with as we sit in the Green Room of Bryn Mawr Hospital.  Francie, the youngest, is intent on her iPad, sliding her fingers over the screen as she surveys a cartoon town, Springfield, home of the Simpsons.  Through a game called “Tapped Out” she has added houses, shrubs, sidewalks, and stores, as well as an amusement park and castle.  “I’m trying to make it as realistic as possible, but I probably overthink it.  I still haven’t put in stop signs.”  I comment that, given her goal of realism, this is a key feature to omit.  “Yeah, but all the cars are parked, so it’s okay.”

Rita, the middle child, in fact and personality as she is quick to point out, is playing solitaire.  There is not an actual card in sight, for she, too, is frowning at an iPad.  I am the oldest daughter and I don’t own an iPad.  I brought my book and Yankee Magazine and have not glanced at either one.  Actually, I am enthralled by Francie’s game.  “I put in all the flowers and vendors: it was a blank field when I started,” she says.  I'd no idea my sister had such city-planner skills. 

“Damn, someone just wrecked my castle,” she grouses and sighs.  “It’s okay.  I can rebuild it. “

Across from us, an old gentleman in heavy orthotic shoes snoozes, chin to chest, his hands clasped across his belly.  His walker is parked at his side.  A stately Asian woman sits alone in the corner, her back erect, her calming deep breaths so forceful as to be audible.  I hope everything works out all right for her and whomever she is here for.

My sisters and I are awaiting word of our mother.  She discovered a lump three weeks ago when we were on vacation.  She is stoic and didn’t want to interrupt or worry us, so by the time we’d all returned from our jaunts and she told us her news, she’d already had the necessary appointments and biopsy.  When the time came to deliver the lines she had practiced, Mom began her spiel with, “Before I say anything, I want you to know that everything is fine and under control.”

At 82, my mother is blessed with a busy schedule, good spirits, and great health… and she rarely, rarely, goes to doctors.  She drives her physician crazy.  “Oh, he wants me to get all kinds of tests, a colonoscopy, things like that, but I just tell him, ‘no thanks.’”  So my sisters and I consider ourselves lucky that she took the steps she did and agreed to this lumpectomy.

We are also lucky that she is a friend of the head of the hospital’s breast cancer department, a surgeon sought after by patients nationwide.   Mom has full confidence in him and to all appearances, has been totally relaxed about this procedure.   In fact, when I arrived from Connecticut last night, she was so chatty and cheery in her welcome that I said, “Clever of you to arrange this reason for us all to get together, Mom.”

The worst part for her, other than the biopsy and diagnosis, was last night’s shower with anti-bacterial soap.  Where I think showers are one of God’s great gifts, Mom is a bath kind of girl.  As she struggled not to slip on the wet tiles of the shower stall, she grumbled, “Never again.” 

So, free of bacteria and squeaky clean, Mom and I met my sisters at the hospital at 6:00 AM this morning.  She was bustled off for prep by a friendly nurse, and when we were guided to her side shortly after, she was dressed in the same blue-diamonds-on-white johnny I’ve worn for colonoscopies and mastectomies alike.  Who is the design genius now reaping big bucks off that pattern, I wonder?

Mom seemed at ease as she rested with one arm crooked behind her head, a pink plastic bracelet encircling her wrist, a needle access ready in the back of her hand.  A flat neon line ran across the screen of a monitor mounted behind her.  She laughed aloud when someone said, “Oops.  Too bad, Mom.  Apparently you’re dead.”

We were introduced to several nurses and the anesthesiologist, each of whom checked Mom’s bracelet and confirmed who she was and what she was in for.  The anesthesiologist observed that, according to his records, Mom had had a tonsillectomy.  “Well, yes, when I was four.  Seems a long time ago to be of any interest now.”   But there again, given her healthy history – and lack of doctors’ appointments – there was nothing else for the poor man to note.  Clearly he felt he had to say something. 

When the surgeon arrived, Mom said to him, “Everyone sends their love.  Can’t possibly remember all the people who told me to pass that along when they heard you were doing my procedure.  So there you are.  You are beloved.” 

He laughed modestly, then told Rita, Francie, and me to plan on about an hour’s wait.  A nurse gave Mom a shiny foil shower cap, which she slipped over her silver-white hair, tucking in a few errant tendrils.  She smiled brightly as we kissed her, and said, “see you soon!”  

It’s been forty-five minutes or so since we left her.  I go to the restroom and when I return, my sisters, in whispered giggles, give me a hard time because my flip-flops, true to their name, flipped and flopped so loudly I woke up the old man in orthotic shoes.  I sit down and study our three sets of painted toes, mushroom brown (Francie), eggplant (me), and neon midnight blue (Rita).  Not so long ago, Mom and Dad would have raised an eyebrow at painted toenails and told us they were tacky.   

Soon after, the surgeon enters the Green Room. He smiles reassuringly, nods, and indicates that we should follow him to a private adjoining room.  The surgery went perfectly.  He pulls out a pen and lined sheet of paper to draw a sketch of a torso, a breast, and a dotted incision line.  “Once it’s healed, it won’t look much different.  She’s in recovery and Joyce, at the desk, will let you know when you can see her.”  Francie picks up the drawing, folds it, and slips it into her purse.

Back to the Green Room, giddy we go.  The old man has fallen asleep again and the elegant Asian woman is gone.  Last week, Mom had told the three of us to Google “shoe ruins family picture.” “It’s in terrible taste,” Mom had said, “but it’s hysterical.”   We’d never gotten around to it, so now is the time.

Francie types it in on her iPad, scrolls through a few possibilities, and clicks on a likely choice, a group of tan, handsome, happy, twenty-somethings.  In the front row, a blond guy with the look of a surfer stands with legs planted wide, wide enough that the beige pump of the girl behind him appears to dangle, penis-like, between his legs. 

My sisters and I erupt in laughter desperately suppressed so as not to seem inappropriate or bother others.  From there, it’s an easy leap to YouTube videos of pooping dogs ruining family pictures.  Then Francie suggests we hold our breaths to see who can last longest; it’s been just under fifty years since last we held such a contest in our neighbor’s pool.  The seconds pass as we lock eyes and press our respective lips tight.  Rita’s hand goes up first as she inhales deeply, and ultimately, I win.  Not bad for the oldest.

As we’re taking a few breaths to recoup, Joyce comes to fetch us.

Mom is in Room #363.  We leave the green carpeting and sponge-painted geraniums in the Green Room to walk down the corridor under glaring white lights.  A nurse at the desk smiles as we pass, and we check out the numbers of each door along our way.  “363.  Here we are,” says Rita.

Francie knocks on the door and pushes it ajar.  “It’s your girls,” she says as we enter.